Get Your Scare Up For The K.H.F.

Hey! Guess what? Ya know all those killer Horror Fests that seem to infest the entire rest of the country from sea to shining sea often purposely diverting past Michigan (save for Detroit and Novi, obviously) in favor of greener pastures? Yeah, well, all that crap is about to seriously grind to a halt. Why? And what the hell am I spouting on about? Well I'll tell you: It's the KALAMAZOO HORROR FEST and it's dropping stake right here in my home town of Kalamazoo, Michigan! That's right kids, now we, right here in south-west Michigan can enjoy the wicked fruits of the terror tree without traveling like Gozer all over the damn map! If you live within shouting distance -and heck, even if you don't- you need to get your carcasses to the 'Zoo in October and check it out! It's gonna be a SCREAM! Click the link above to see who's all schleppin' in and discover why you, too need to go BOO in the 'ZOO!

The Killer Infographic

Wow, has it really been nearly two months since I last posted here? That's kind of a shame wouldn't you say? Well, I'm going to make sure I do something about that from now on. And I think what I have for you today will more than make up for my absence. Check out this!

Click to embiggen!

Is it Just a Story?

First off, sorry I haven't updated in a while, but I have been MAD busy at work and honestly haven't really had anything new to post. Until today.

As we all know, the internet is a wonderful resource for everything from recipes to porn, but very infrequently do we stumble upon something that literally rearranges our thought processes. I found a weird link at Gorillamask.net (a buddy of ours at Gunaxin) pointing to some odd scary web sites that immediately piqued my attention. You see, I am not easily scared at all. I'm a horror freak and fan, so it stands to reason that my tolerance level is pretty high. But when I do find the rare thing that makes my neck hair stand at attention and gives my flesh the crawlies, I'm all over it. And today, I found something.

Give yourself ample time to read this entire ordeal, because the finale is truly its ultimate reward. You'll see why when you get there. Don't be a idiot and skip through. If you don't have the time right now, then wait till you do. It is absolutely worth it. Now without handing out any spoilers, I'm not entirely sure if this is a 100% legit recount of events, or if it's something akin to Blair Witch, but either way, it'll spark your hackles. Trust me.

So, without further ado: THE CAVE

You can thank me later...

Six-Legged Mini-Horror

Somehow, oddly, nature has been damn scary lately. First, last week, we had horrific flowers shot from the point of view of the inside. Oh, and those flowers are now dead. Anyway, this time it's the first bizarre bug I have seen this year and, luckily, it fell directly on my hand. Yeah, luckily... see, I am not a huge bug fan. If they're little, I can deal and will often pick them up and I'm cool. However, the larger you get toward half-dollar size, the less apt I am to handle and/or be anywhere in their immediate time zone. Now all of this is predicated on the simple fact that non of these are bees. Bees and I are not friends.

Anyway, this bug was quite tiny. In fact, it was only maybe a millimeter or two long. It was a lot easier to see from my own eyes and, sadly, the only camera I had handy was my phone. So, since I know you can't really see it, I've also included an image of the bug in huge size. And no, these bugs do not ever get this big. In fact, they really only ever get about as big as the one that fell on me. Oh, and they're called Tan Weevils, oddly enough. Anyway, here's your horror which obviously could be something wicked that crawls into your nostril and consumes you from your brain outward! GAAAHHH!!!

  

Garden Demons

Welcome one and all to the Found Horror for this week! Unless you count Sunday's as week-beginnings instead of week endings (and you are a moron), then I suppose this would technically be the second. Regardless, I've got something pretty cool for ya today.

Now I was going to leave hints and make you guess, but since I don't have a ton of participation from readers on the blog yet, and the simple fact that the title is kind of a dead give-away, I decided not to. So, on with it already...

Finally, after a few weeks of horrendous weather around these parts, the tulips in my wife's little garden finally decided to bloom big and tall. I mean these flowers are... well, presumably tulip-sized, I guess. But they sure look big! Anyway, as I was bending one over gingerly so my daughter could smell it (they're kinda on a raised side garden that borders the right side of the driveway) I noticed that inside the flower, where the pistil and stamens are (male and female, respectively) I noticed just how monstrous nature can really look. Sometimes beauty and terror go hand in hand... Check 'em out!

Three different flowers, three different versions of Nature's freaky flora.

Mother's Day TERROR!

So it's Mothers Day... not typically the kind of 'Hallmark' holiday you'd typically associate with Horror. But the truth is, there are oodles of Horror flicks out there that not only focus clearly on diabolical Mothers, but also some that have Mother's themselves as central antagonists! Let's take a look, shall we?

First off, the classic: PSYCHO. When you're dealing with a psychopathic caretaker and his penchant for assuming the role of his deceased mommy, ya know it's gonna be a rotten vacation.



Or, if you're in the mood for more of an 80's Slasher film, why not turn to the never disappointing FRIDAY THE 13TH! That's right, good old Jason Voorhees' mother plays the revenge game. A great Mother's Day treat!



Why not watch a great movie from the director of THE LORD OF THE RINGS! What? He did a Mother's Day horror movie? Yep. Check out DEAD/ALIVE where Lionel's mom get's bitten by a Sumatran Rat Monkey spreading the zombie virus all over the house!



As it turns out, there's even a flick with the title MOTHER'S DAY that more or less focuses on two boys and the lengths to which they'll go to... um... impress their mother.
And yes, *sigh*, there is a remake happening.



Of course you could turn to the absolute viciousness of Faye Dunaway and watch as she slowly drops away into utter madness.... without wire hangers.



And finally, there is the trilogy of terror directed by Dario Argento starring his amazing daughter, Asia called 'The Three Mothers', including: Susperia, Inferno, and The Mother of Tears. It's all very artsy... oh, and gory. Really gory. With witches.



So there ya go! Gather up your moms and get some FOUND HORROR in your Mothers Day! Have a happy one, everyone!

The Impossible Photograph

My wife and kids went to her parent's house this past Sunday for their Anniversary. And as typically happens on occasions like that, memories were shared and boxes of old photos were rifled through over tears of joy and family lost. Well, I was at work and already lost in 'Salem's Lot' --thereby having already reached a slightly taught sense of awareness, as you might imagine-- when my phone rings. I answer and my wife is nearly breathless. She explains that buried within one of the boxes of photos they had been leafing through was a very old and worn picture of her grandmother as a kid (maybe 5 or 6) dressed in her mother's Wedding Dress. I said, "And?" (not wanting to sound disinterested but being disinterested at the same time). She said that wasn't the weird part. Oh no, the weird part is definitely why this has suddenly become 'Found Horror'...

My wife's Grandmother looks EXACTLY like my daughter, Addison. I mean a literal spitting image that is almost uncannily eerie that once she sent me the photo via phone I had to chuckle nervously and look around the empty store just to make sure there wasn't some kind of creepy visage trading souls for bizarre trinkets. Of course there was no one, but the utter similarity between my child and my wife's long deceased grandmother was borderline insane. Almost, one might conclude, odd enough to really start believing that some version of time travel can occur. There is just no way this was possible especially considering my daughter is all my side of the family and not even a hint of my wife's... or so I thought. Anyway, judge for yourself. I will post a pic of the grandmother and a pic of Addison for you to compare. Be prepared to be spooked. Even more bizarre? Both pics have lost teeth, just in different spots.

  

Pimpin' My Own Shit

So, I found some horror! Well, if ya wanna call semantics on it, I found horror because I wrote about it. Or, more precisely, I trolled the net for it. Why? Cuz ZOMBIES, however over-used and completely beaten to death (har har), are still cool. Especially zombies that have seemed to have taken over every facet of Pop Culture. Anyway, HERE'S THE ARTICLE. Hope ya like it!

The Storm and the Link

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I've got a two-fer for you all today, neither of which are even remotely related except by the horrific connections of Found Horror. So on with it...

First of all, we have a single shot of the first of many approaching storm clouds that whipped through our area (Kalamazoo and surrounding counties) last night. I managed to get a quick shot off just before the onslaught blacked out the sun... which is funny, cuz it never really went down that way here in Portage. Somehow the bulk of the frenzy skimmed right over us and did a bit of damage to outer counties. Anyway, few things can conjure up that innate sense of fear and eminent danger like an oncoming storm. Many horror films -possibly too numerous to mention- have used the whip-crack of thunder and the pulsating flash of lightning to build mood and set the scene for an evil scientist, a lone werewolf, or even a lumbering creature. So here's my shot from the parking lot of the store and yes, I do wish I'd gotten a few different shots... but sadly, I actually had to perform duties. Anyway, hope ya like it.

The second in our two-pack today is a little link I stumbled upon on FaceBook. It's one of those lists that you either agree with, deride whole-heartedly, or nod in admiration at the author for even putting as much effort into it as he did. It's CollegeDegree.com's 'Ten Horror Movies That Changed The Genre'. Take a look and at least give it a read. I have to admit, I'm leaning toward loving at least six of these, so that's pretty solid.

So there ya go: Found Horror for the day. As always, please check out the QUIZ right there on the right and send an answer either via the comments below or the comments below this article! And you can also send me a line or your own Found Horror to: Found.Horror@gmail.com!

Thanks for reading!

The Troll Hunter (And it's Horror, too!)

So I just watched the 2010 movie, 'The Troll Hunter' last night, and I did a review for GUNAXIN.com, which will be up as soon as it is... up. I don't really control these things (Here's the review, up as of Wednesday- Ed.). But I will give you a little excerpt. Hey, it is FOUND HORROR after all... and I did find this gem. Enjoy!

"... We all know the lore. We've all heard fairy tales of the Billy Goats Gruff and the, "Fee Fi Foe Fum, I smell the blood of an Englishman...". Well, oddly, they're all true.  André Øvredal has created a masterpiece that will literally make your blood run cold at the prospect of real trolls actually existing... anywhere. But thank goodness this film takes place entirely in Norway and within its encompassing beautiful rolling hills, vast farmland, and stunning forests. If their intention wasn't to --even a little bit-- spark the Norwegian tourism industry, well, bravo in covering it up so well because the landscape with is breathtaking.




But what of the trolls? The film's suspense isn't thinned for a second, and in true First-Person perspective (the camera shots) and a not-so thinly-veiled homage to 'The Blair Witch Project' or even 'Cloverfield', we get the feeling that the trolls aren't just out there loafing around, but are lumbering hulks with no conscience and appetites for, of all things, rocks and it feels like you are along for every second of the ride..."


So there ya go! Go find this movie!

The Tree of Woes

So we went to my brother's house for Easter yesterday and I had no notion of finding any kind of Horror over there. It's amazing what pops up when you're not really looking, isn't it?

His backyard is in the process of getting some much needed landscape renovation and he has this one tree in the very back by the far end of the fence. The tree is gnarly, warped, and horrendously misshapen. It obviously caught my attention right away... well, once I saw it it did. Not that it was hidden or anything, since my children took to it right away... as kids are wont to do when there's a creepy tree with some kind of terrifying magnetic pull, I just wasn't looking for anything, so I kinda missed it. And it is creepy, too. In fact, since this is Found Horror, and the whole idea is to match a piece of located terror with a scene in a movie or some other kind of media... what do you think I thought of right away? The tree from POLTERGEIST, obviously! That scene used to give me the willies! Branches punching through the window to grab Robbie... awful.

Anyway, that's your Found Horror for today: a creepy-ass tree. *shudder*

Oh, and I included the original picture and a PhotoShop-doctored version, which I find pretty sweet. Enjoy!

Zombie Easter!

Though any good Christian knows that Easter is really about the resurrection of Jesus Christ. HE IS RISEN!
Other schools of thought apply the obvious idea that Easter, a once Pagan holiday, celebrates the rebirth of the Earth via Spring with bunnies, chicks, and eggs.
Yet, if you apply today's love of the living dead, it almost makes a modicum of sense that there is such a thing as Zombie Easter Bunnies. And HE saw them, and decided -since the Lord has a mad sense of humor- that it was good.
So, since it Easter Sunday (Happy Easter) and this is Found Horror... well, let's just say I'd be remiss not to post this. Enjoy and see ya next week.

Update... From the DEPTHS!

Just a quick update here, at Found Horror. I love me some good old fashioned games, so I figured why not make a daily quiz over on the right panel there. Basically, every day I will post an image of some kind of Found Horror and you all can chime in with the comments field directly below it. I'll post the winner of the previous day's quiz on the following day! Now that sounds fun! Oh, and don't forget that you, too can submit your OWN Found Horror to: Found.Horror@gmail.com and I will post every week! Okay, that's it... so get out there and FIND HORROR!

Three On A Pike

Well, well, well, so glad you stuck around! As promised from yesterday's intro, I have three little ghastly bits of found horror that I hope will really give you all more of a perspective into what I'm hoping to accomplish with this fun blog of mine. Not to mention a bit of a shudder down the old spine.
As you will soon see, it's not necessary to have each bit of Found Horror so directly linked to a film or story --or what have you-- that the piece needs to be either a perfect match to the source material, or even outright covered in gore. What I mean is, you don't (necessarily) have to have sliced open a finger just to get a bloody knife and call it 'Friday the Thirteenth'... though something like that would be really cool. Similarly, it doesn't have to be a bald mortician with a silver sphere to make it 'Phantasm'. As long as it reminds one of a flick or something, closeness doesn't only have to count in horseshoes and hand grenades... if you catch my meaning. Anyway, look at the pics and I think you'll get an even better understanding.

And this first pic is the one that started this whole idea. Who do you see when you look at this doll head? Sure it's just a head-and-shoulders bath toy of Dora the Explorer that belongs to my daughter (seriously), but who does it remind you of? Well, if you thought SAMARA from THE RING, good for you. Imagine having to shower with this thing more or less coming out of the wall? It's suction cupped on so there's just no point in removing it every day... I don't think. But it's definitely unsettling.

Now this here is the label from a bottle of Pier Cove Porter we have at the store (Portage City Wine Cellar represent!). The brewer is Saugatuck Brewery which is a bit of insight into where the Pier Cove once was. Next to the cove is a picture of a cabin (that's what's in the photo) that reminded me of really any given cabin from any number of movies, but for the sake of being a classic aficionado, I'll go with EVIL DEAD. Yeah, I think Bruce would approve, don't you?

And finally, another from the store. I'm sure many of you are already nodding your head in recognition, but for those who aren't, think for a minute Stephen King and George Romero... think sequel... think George Kennedy. Anything? Yeah, I thought so. Straight out of CREEPSHOW 2 we have the vengeful Native himself Old Chief Wood'nhead. Except he's holding a box of cigars. And not a gory knife. But certainly a spitting image none the less.


So, now I think you really understand what's going on here. And, with that, I'd like to hope maybe you, too have seen some Found Horror of your own and are just dying to send it to me, right? Well if so, just drop me a line at my email: Found.Horror@gmail.com and I'd be happy too. Anyway, see you all next week.

Household Horror... and beyond!

Welcome, everyone, to what I hope will turn into a regular (weekly, maybe... possibly more often) feature to show around called 'Found Horror'. As the description says, this blog basically showcases little bits of horror (specifically from the entertainment genre and not from, say, actual horrific things happening outside) that I find at home and, if possible, abroad. I cited one sample again in the description, and I believe that's about the simplest way to put it: if you are enough of a horror fan to literally look at four knives sitting on a table and immediately think, 'Freddy Krueger', then you know exactly what I'm driving at with this blog.
Now, with the what's and why's out of the way, I will be striving to have at least three posts up by tomorrow to get this ball a-rolling, one of which is the entire reason behind this blog and is something I've been looking at for a few months now. Pique your interest? Good, you'll just have to hang on and wait. Also, the blog itself looks a bit desolate and that, too will rearrange itself with time.
So, with that, welcome to 'Found Horror'! Oh, and if you're already chomping at the bit and wanting to add some Found Horror of your own... well, I can guarantee that'll be an option in the coming weeks as well. So go find some horror!